The Secret to Happiness...There isn't one!

Welcome to the secret to life...not to happiness! Now I'm no expert – in fact just a twenty-something on a merry quest deciphering life's experiences one nugget at a time – but I believe happiness isn't a 'thing,' nor can it be sought. Happiness is a very still state buried deep inside of each one of us and each one of us have the same capacity to reach it (albeit with very different tools, in different ways and to different timings). So this in blog post I discuss what ingredients flavour the awesome Pad Thai bowl that is happiness.

(Also if you smile for no reason, it helps spread some joy in your body instantly, FYI^)

Here is happiness visualised. Note my awesome sketch (NAAAT).
It's a state (envision it how you want - perhaps even draw it yourself now?) of consistency for me, balance, clarity, steadiness, bliss – a horizontal ocean.

The mess is all the crap that gets in the way of accessing it, such as stress at work, the London commute, the dog that consistently sh*ts on your driveway, the guy in the gym who takes longer on the leg press because he knows you're waiting, losing a sock in the wash etc... Anyway, accessing happiness is 'unearthing' what already exists within – you just need your tools to get at it. Once you've been there, it's easier to re-access as the 'mess is less' to cope with... just like getting a bikini wax...

Here are the ingredients/tools (well they work for me, others may have different):
+ purpose
+ flow
+ being active
+ gratitude
+ social relationships/ connectedness
+ being okay with the unknown
+ consumption

1. Purpose - find your thing. Wake up for it. Do it. Get paid for it. Go home and enjoy life around it. You've got a reason to live. Therefore you'll be missed if you didn't show up. Purpose.

2. Flow - a state of being totally consumed in an activity to the point where you're not conscious of time and you are fully in the moment. You're flowing like a river, you're energetic, you're passionate, you're going with it. Flow. Read my Find Your Flow post here if you don't know.... Mine is writing to you guys! :)

3. Being active - move that god darn sexy body of yours because you've been gifted with it (rented it for a bit) and it's fab! It does loads of cool sh*t like bend, twist, sweat, sing, expand, contract, crack and bubble... ew. But enjoy it all, experiment with it (safely) to expand your capabilities. Heck try a new activity monthly?!

4. Gratitude - Those who are happiest count what they do have > what they're missing. Notice everyday before bed, or when you wake, the things you like about your life and say thank you...to yourself, your mum or to your ceiling... Then do it again tomorrow, because you have A LOT, but take it for granted. Like J Cole says, 'no such thing as a life that's better than yours.' Express gratitude.

5. Social relationships - 'love.' Friendship, kinship, relationships – they all provide connectedness, value and a sense of belonging. You are special and the people in your life recognise it...so keep them close and take time to show you care. Full attention (no phones), what you give you get. Choose wisely who you keep beside you and absorb positive energy. Connectedness.

6. Be okay with the unknown - you just gotta come to terms with not knowing life's answers (my biggest issue), what's to come and the 'right' way. How? Appreciate that with the 'unknown' comes surprise and excitement, and if you knew it all already, what would be the point / zest in living? It would be a half life. I think it helps us to give 110% with every moment. Be ok with the unknown.

7. Consumption - put crap in your body, feel crap. Put good in your body, feel pukka. Capeesh? Do the reading and make choices your mind and bod'll appreciate. Food, sex, drugs, Facebook, advice and so on. But also know - 'everything in moderation, including moderation' (Oscar Wilde).

It's OKAY to feel the negative stuff...

Finally it should be noted that happiness exists because of unhappiness and other negative emotions. The contrast provides us with a scale to understand the fullness of every experience. Without the bad, the good cannot exist. There would just be a constant. I always try to push the philosophy: 'The Happiness of Pursuit,' as opposed to 'The Pursuit of Happiness' because life is rich a journey that we should relish and not just look to the destination. On that journey we should find value and see the ups of everything that comes our way, warts and all.

More on being Simply Happy on my favourite Ted Radio Hour Podcast here.

SO work at it. Ciao for now babies x